Looking for Love This Summer? This Time, Make It Meaningful
By Laura Berman Fortgang, Author of The Little Book on Meaning: Why We Crave It, How We Create It
Summertime is a time of great romance. Single people find each other after the dearth of winter as they sun in the park, do outdoor activities, and party with friends at outdoor spots. Not to say that all summer romances are just meaningless flings, but you have to admit that some are. If that leaves you flat and feeling empty and maybe not even willing to try, here is a new way to look at summer love that could make it meaningful and maybe even long-lasting.
Mystery: Part of what makes summer love so much fun is the mystery of a new, attractive person in your life. The awe with which you discover a new person is the same awe that you can enjoy in all parts of your life. Rediscover the reverence for life and the fantastic elements that make up yours. Use the slower days of summer to take the time to slow your personal pace and rediscover your whole life, not just your love life. At the same time, embrace the mystery of where the relationship may end up and rediscover yourself in the process.
Minister: Think of being a friend before jumping the gun to life-long romance and you might just be building the foundation for a very lasting relationship. Friendship is the wick that burns all the way through a relationship. Build that underlying support by ministering to one another. In other words, be with the person knowing there is a more than meets the eye and that the bumps and bruises are just as precious as the initial facade. Recognize that you are both brought together for mutual growth whether it means you’ll be together forever or not.
Magnificence: New love allows to see the magnificence in each other early and powerfully. This time, turn the great feeling you have of new love on to yourself. See yourself through the eyes of your new partner and take the opportunity to take stock of what is great about you. Use that then again to see what’s great about everyone you meet and the natural world around you. The feeling of meaning that will result , with practice, can last even when the ‘gaga’ stage is over.
Mind: Something that new romance does for us is keep us very focused on the present moment. Looking into someone’s eyes, exploring one another’s bodies, lingering over a meal and talking — all of these describe being very, very present and attentive. That’s why it feels meaningful. Really, we can create that in our lives in other places. Learning to quiet the mind and keep it from wandering into the past where we remember pain or into the future where we set expectations that can’t always be met. To stay in the present with no matter what you are up to can make for a lot of meaningful moments, peace and tranquility. Something we can all use.
Mystic: A sense of the divine seems to shine through in a new romance. We marvel at the magical circumstances that brought us together or we float in a suspended reality of feeling very close to someone. This awareness of coincidence and the connectedness of our lives is really available everywhere. We can feel full and alive connecting with ourselves, nature and the universe when we use the lesson of new love as guidance to a more fulfilling life overall.
To recognize summer romance as something that can be meaningful no matter how long it lasts is to bring you to a new understanding about yourself that will serve you for years to come.
©2009 Laura Berman Fortgang, author of The Little Book on Meaning: Why We Crave It, How We Create It. Learn more at http://www.thelittlebookonmeaning.com//a>.