What actually happened that day in-a-gadda-da-vida (dontcha know what I mean?):…
Scene: Snake is flicking his tongue at a small mammal cowering under a leaf. Eve enters, Garden left.
Eve: Hey, Snake!
Snake: Wha? Who’s that?
Eve: It’s me, Eve!
Snake: Eve who? Eve Black? Eve White? or that other Eve?
Eve: Snake! Give yourself a shake, Snake! This is the Garden of Eden, remember? One man. One woman. One snake. No last names (to protect the innocent, namely Adam and you).
Snake: Oh yeah. Sorry… was thinking of a different play.
Eve: Okay, Snake… listen up. See this tree?
Snake (squinting, snake-like): um… I guess so.
Eve: Isn’t this the Tree of Knowledge?
Snake: If you say so, Babe.
Eve: Isn’t this the one God warned us not to touch?
Snake: Sorry… I overslept and missed that meeting.
Eve: Well, take my word for it… it is.
Snake: Whatever, Babe.
Eve: Well, anyhoo… Have you seen these things growing on the Tree of Knowledge?
Snake: Eve? Have you noticed that I’m like maybe one and a half inches tall? It’s kind of a stretch to look way up in the damn tree!
Eve: Stop whining… it’s a nice fruit. I think I’ll call it an apple.
Snake: Fine… whatever.
Eve: Have you ever tasted an apple?
Snake: Babe – try to stay with me here. I eat reptiles, small mammals like mice, the occasional bird, and insects. Do I look like the fruity type?
Eve: I don’t know the answer to that, I’m afraid. We haven’t even discovered heterosexuality yet….
Snake: Eve, don’t take this the wrong way, but you are one very strange dudette.
Eve: Thanks, Snake! I appreciate the recognition. Now listen… do you think apples taste good?
Snake: Eve! I eat mice and frogs! What the dickens would I know about fruit?
Eve: Well I think they would taste great. Do you think I should eat one?
Snake: What am I? Loblaws? Farm Boy? A&P? Suit yourself?
Eve: Okay I will…
Eve picks an apple and takes a bite…
God: WHAT THE??!!!?? Eve? Did you eat of the Fruit from the Tree of Knowledge?
Eve: It was Snake’s idea! I told him we shouldn’t but he insisted! Yikes! Why am I naked?
…and the rest of the story you know…
(c) David J. Baxter, 2003
All rights reserved.